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Jerry connects with a Miss America pageant contestant, Miss Rhode Island, at a Yankees game and asks her out on a date. They have to have a chaperone however and and Kramer volunteers. It turns out Kramer knows a lot about how to win a beauty pageant and is soon Miss Rhode Island's personal trainer. After being turned down for a job at a major book publisher, Elaine is hired by Justin Pitt as his personal assistant. Her first task is to go out and buy him new socks. George meanwhile is surprised to learn that the Yankees uniforms are made of polyester and switches …
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Kramer thinks that a simple penalty stroke may have driven his golf partner, Steve Gennison, to murder a dry cleaner. Jerry is stunned to learn that his girlfriend not only went out with, but was dumped by Newman. George thinks Elaine gave his girlfriend an incorrect thank you when it was actually George who paid for Elaine's lunch. Elaine flirts with a stationary store employee and thinks that she may have sent him the wrong message.
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Kramer finds Jerry's old birthday checks from his grandmother and insists he deposits them, which puts Nana in unexpected debt. Elaine accidentally tells the high talker a secret. Mr Pitt eats a Snickers bar with utensils.
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George's telephone line crosses with that of a woman named Donna Chang, and everyone seeks her advice when she convinces them that she's Chinese. Jerry winds up dating her. George drives his girlfriend to a mental institution, and things get worse when Frank and Estelle announce a separation. Kramer can't seem to figure out why Frank Costanza is having mysterious business dealings with a man in a cape.
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Elaine dates a moving guy, and things are going well for her until Jerry wants to know what his opinion on abortion is. Poppy returns and he and Kramer are going into business together to create a restaurant where you make your own pizza. Meanwhile, George goes out of his way to cheat on a book club test by renting “Breakfast At Tiffany's” instead of reading the book.
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George's girlfriend's mom thinks he is a bum when she catches George eating an éclair out of the trash can, among various other coincidences. Jerry dates a woman who is a former Olympic gymnast and ventures into the territory of sexual pleasures that most men dare not dream of. Elaine tries to pry Mr. Pitt away from looking at Kramer's new 3-D art poster. Meanwhile, Kramer gets a kidney stone.
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Kramer convinces Jerry to get a free Armani suit from hack comic Kenny Bania. But when Bania decides that he doesn't want anything except for dinner, Jerry has a hard time accepting the suit knowing that there is a far greater catch involved. Things get even worse when, during the dinner, Bania insists that soup doesn't count as a meal. Meanwhile, Elaine has a British friend stay with her for a week.
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George buys a convertible he thinks was once owned by Jon Voight. Kramer tries to save a small shoe-repair business. Elaine answers a radio quiz, enabling Mr. Pitt to participate in the Macy's Thanksgiving Day Parade. Meanwhile, Jerry tries to solve the mystery of whether or not he's invited to Tim Whatley's annual Pre-Thanksgiving party.
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George gets a Secretary, saying he will go for efficiency and smarts rather than beauty. He hires a woman who is ‘a computer geek’, only to find himself falling in love with her.
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When George notices that Elaine's new boyfriend reads the Daily Worker, he asks if he's a Communist. He says he is, which Elaine seems to wear as a badge of honor. Thanks to his friend Mickey, Kramer gets a job as a department store Santa. Things start out okay but veer off after he reads some literature from Elaine's boyfriend. George answers a personal ad in the Daily Worker and soon everyone in the Yankees front office thinks he's a Communist. Jerry meanwhile learns that his new girlfriend's boss is an old high school rival he once beat at a track meet and has …
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Elaine loans Mr. Pitt's expensive tennis racket racket to an executive from Doubleday who hints there may be a job opening for Elaine soon. When the woman injures her arm, Elaine can't quite get the racket back. Jerry's girlfriend never smiles or laughs at his jokes but her roommate laughs at everything he says so he contemplates the switch. George comes up with an idea as to how he might get away with it. George's girlfriend, a model, eats like a horse but never puts on weight. Kramer suggests she might be bulimic. The gang learns Kramer's first name, thanks to his …
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Jerry gets Super Bowl tickets but cant use them because of obligations to attend a friend's wedding. He gives them to Tim Whatley and gets a label maker in return. Elaine is convinced that the label maker is the exact same one that she gave him a week before. Jerry then accuses Whatley of “re-gifting” the label maker. George, learns that his girlfriend has a male roommate and gets weirded out by the concept, but loves the male roommate's possessions which include a velvet couch. The couple learns that the wedding is on the same day as the Super Bowl and then calls the…
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Kramer is walking down a street and sees a man littering. He calls the guy a “pig” but doing so offends a cop who is standing a few feet away. Of course, the cop isn't paying attention and the scofflaw gets away. Kramer decides that he needs a new look and goes with an eye patch. George runs into Gary Fogel, a man who was having cancer and decided not to tell him. But he did tell Jerry, who reveals that he made himself nearly sick being nice to the guy. The next day, George meets with Gary, who drops a bombshell that he never actually had cancer and that the operation…
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For the series' 100th episode, Jerry Seinfeld hosts a one hour retrospective with clips from previous episodes: the idea for a show about nothing; the smelly car; the puffy shirt; the astronaut pen; Jerry's hair; George's lack of hair; Mulva; Jerry's virgin girlfriend; the Hernandez incident; the outing; the masters of their domain; the bubble boy - are only a few of the episodes included.
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Elaine attempts to convert a gay man to heterosexuality. Kramer sets George up with a woman, but forgets what she looks like. When they consult a police sketch artist, Jerry hooks up with a female officer, who then has Jerry take a polygraph test on whether or not he's seen the show “Melrose Place”.
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Kramer tries to create a Utopian society when he puts up pictures of all the residents of his and Jerry's building. Jerry doesn't mind until the women of the building want to be greeted with a kiss. After Jerry objects to kissing hello, he's vilified and nearly kicked out of the building. Jerry also has to settle some family issues when Nana remembers that Uncle Leo was supposed to give Morty some money 50 years ago and Uncle Leo puts Nana in a home to keep her quiet. Meanwhile, Elaine's friend who is a chiropractor skips out on George's appointment and goes skiing …
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Elaine house-sits for Mr. Pitt. Jerry goes to meet up with her to go to the movies and winds up offending the Doorman. So to make up for it, Jerry watches the door. But when Jerry leaves his post and the couch in the lobby is stolen, Jerry and Elaine formulate a plan to cover their tracks. Meanwhile, Kramer invents a bra for men and George tries to find a way to get his father out of his apartment.
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The gang has various encounters with a man named Jimmy, who talks about himself in the 3rd person. Elaine asks Jimmy to go to the benefit for the Able Mentally Challenged Adults organization starring Mel Torme. Thanks to Jimmy's shoes and getting too much Novocaine at Whatley's office, Kramer is mistaken for a mentally challenged man when he encounters the head of the AMCA. Jerry suspects Tim Whatley and his assistant are using patients for sexual pleasures when he finds pornographic magazines in Whatley's waiting room and thinks that he was violated while under the …
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George dates a girl from Elaine's art class and wonders whether or not her humorous caricature of him is a sign that she likes him or not. Thanks to Newman's fleas, Jerry's visiting parents are forced to stay in Elaine's luxury hotel room. Elaine gets a potential job offer but accidentally leaves the manuscript in Jerry's flea-infested apartment.
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Kramer gets new license plates, but a DMV screw-up gives him a new vanity license plate - “ASS MAN”. George's mom gets plastic surgery. Kramer makes pasta sculptures of his friends, and makes one out of Jerry using Fusilli pasta. Jerry tells Puddy about his “move”, which he proceeds to use on Elaine. He also tells George, but George screws it up, and his girlfriend gets freaked out when he uses crib notes. Kramer finally tracks down the Ass Man when Frank falls on the Fusilli Jerry and they have to take him to a proctologist.
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Jerry's new agent thinks he's a celebrity who needs his hand held on every little decision. After she tells him that the pilot who flew the plane to Ithaca is in the audience, Jerry freaks out. Kramer goes to the Diplomat's Club to meet up with Jerry and winds up gambling with a Texas business man on which plane is going to arrive first. Meanwhile, Mr. Pitt puts Elaine in his will, and Mr. Pitt's lawyer has reason to suspect that Elaine is up to something.
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Jerry scores premium tickets to a New Jersey Devils playoff game. He invites Kramer, Puddy, and Elaine along. But Jerry gets weirded out when Puddy shows up at the game and paints his face to match the team colors. Puddy gets so worked up after the game that he freaks out a visiting pastor from El Salvador, who is convinced that Puddy really is the devil. Elaine tries to convince him otherwise. Kramer enjoyed the game so much that he tries to convince Jerry to get more tickets from the guy Jerry got them from. Meanwhile, George decides to tell his girlfriend that he …
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Jerry dates the ultra-sensitive understudy for Bette Midler in Rochelle, Rochelle: The Musical. When the Improv is scheduled to play Rochelle Rochelle in a softball game, George plows into catcher Bette Midler to score the winning run. Bette is injured because of the incident and is unable to perform in the Broadway premiere. Jerry, George, and the understudy are vilified for the incident, and Kramer goes out of his way to help Bette. Meanwhile, Elaine suspects that a local nail shop is making fun of her in Korean. She learns that George's dad Frank speaks Korean and …